The Quiet State of Longing and how the image came to be

As always, I will let you find your own meaning in this image. But I did want to write a few lines that should give you a glimpse behind the scenes of "The Quiet State of Longing"...

I have shot this a while ago and, after three edits, it was tucked away on my computer for a too long time. Why? Because I was uncertain about it and too insecure to show it. But I have to admit, I still love it and here it is! The little secret behind this image is that it came to life during my VERY FIRST shoot of fine art images. My friend and I met up for our first shoot together and this was almost exactly a year ago. We carried loads and loads of props, dresses, fabrics, and equipment through a forest and ended up by a waterfall, our location for the day. We were both nervous, frightened even, happy, and excited all at the same time. We wanted to create but really had no idea how to begin the process. We jumped right in. I had a little story and general ideas based on the story. This image, however, just "happened". It had nothing to do with the story that we used as a guide. Now I know that sketches, ideas, stories are oftentimes only the scaffolding for the image you are creating. They give you something to hold on to until the real idea emerges.

Well, here is the result ;) It was my friend's first time modelling and my first time creating what I now call my "Dreamworlds". I will never forget this damp, foggy, chilly afternoon by the waterfall because it truly was the beginning of an entirely new type of photography for me.

Do you remember your first fine art shoot with a model or alone? How was that? How did it influence your future work? Feel free to share your story, I would love to hear!

(P.S.: After the shoot when the light was gone, we ended up sitting in the forest a few yards away from the roaring waterfall. At first, we thought it was great, badass and an overall almost spiritual experience. Hahahaha....half an hour later, i called my husband to please pick us up. It had started to rain, we were soaking, dirty, and spooked by forest noises and animals stepping on branches. It was fun though....for about 20 minutes ;) )

Musing about the concept of TIME ;)

Is time a "healer" or is it a burden? Does time work for or against us? Do we "take" time or is time being taken from us? Does it tie us down or can we use it in our favor? Does time fly, is time money, can we "waste" time, is time free or is it priceless?

As you can see I have been thinking a lot about the concept of TIME. I had too because time had almost become an enemy - not ENOUGH time for anything, constant pressure, and 24 hours never seemed enough. It started to seem like I never had time for the important things (or anything). At the same time, I have never been less productive, inspired, or efficient. It became paralyzing and unhealthy. The more paralyzed I was, the more time I "lost". It became a circle.

Until I took a step back and TOOK TIME - for the people I love, for the things I'm passionate about, and for myself. I had to reduce my pace and learn again to take things easier, be more laid back again. For far too long I let TIME dictate everything I'm doing - to a degree where I started to have health issues (nothing major but enough to scare me), couldn't think clearly anymore, was often irrational, made mistakes, and was always as tense as a tightly drawn wire.

Somehow I was smart enough and took it as a warning sign, checked my pace and my rhythm. Of course, this is not a process that is finished in a few days or a week. But I am now in a much, much better place than some TIME ago. I let time work for me, I gave myself time, and will continue to do so. I let go of the "strictness" of time and started to see it as my friend again. And, yeah, I realized I don't have to do anything in record speed or 15 things at the same time. ;) There is time enough for everything and everything will happen in due time.

This image was created weeks ago when I was still in this pretty bad place. This is how I felt back then - tied to a giant clock without any way to escape. Things changed since then but I still wanted to publish this image because it represents a tiny part of my story and a huge learning experience. As you may notice, this image is far from perfect. In fact, I think it is one of my worse ones. Now, I could have gone back into editing and presented you with a more polished, better version. I did not. It is what it is. When I created it I rushed, did not take the time because I thought I didn't have enough. See where this is heading.....? So, here it is with all it's technical imperfections, representing a very important lesson.

I'm sure many of you had similar experiences and probably not only once. Feel free to share your thoughts and stories in the comments!

"Birth"

"People are born everyday. Ideas and views and goals and dreams. Born every day. In fact, every second of every day. Giving birth is hard. Not only the baby from a mother's womb. But the birth this child has to give throughout its life, again and again. To ideas and views and goals and dreams. And friendships and relationships and new selves. This, I claim, is the hardest type of giving birth. When you want to re-invent yourself. When you need to let go of things known and deliver the unknown. There is pain involved. And great joy."

I wrote the above quote down a long time ago and thought it was so perfect for the image. Unfortunately, I did not write down the author! So, let's just enjoy these beautiful words, let them sink in.....and probably never find out who came up with them.... ;) 

Curiosity and how hardware stores are the best source of inspiration

I use a Nikon D7000 and my favorite lens is a Nikkor 40mm 2.8G. Then I have several tripods, a few reflectors, and my trusty camera bag that I love more than any fancy purse. Ok, truth be told, there are a few more lenses and filters and accessories. But the 40mm, one sturdy Manfrotto tripod and the bag (a Tenba, for those interested) are really all I need for almost any shoot. Therefore, I don't spend a lot of time in camera stores. In fact, I think I haven't been to one in almost two years. Where I like to spend time is in fabric stores, at flea markets, and especially in hardware stores! I ALWAYS, without exception, walk out with something that I could use for my photography. They are just great, aren't they? Clamps, pieces of wood, random containers, construction lights, paint, tape, barbed wire, regular wire.....just so many great items to use for photography!

During my years in the US I saw my share of ginormous hardware stores. But now, living in a small country where everything is.....well, small, imagine my absolute delight when my husband and I discovered this DIY store the other week that even had a DRIVE-IN section!!! I have heard rumors that something like this existed but have never seen one in person. Imagine all the stuff you can get there for all your photography projects. [I do sound like a complete geek, don't I?] My husband quickly succumbed to his fate and patiently walked miles and miles through that store with me. Also, he tried not to look too embarrassed when I let out a small shriek of joy when I found the perfect ROPE. Trust me, only fellow (conceptual) photographers will understand my reaction ;) I proudly brought home my rope, sat down, and started sketching my photo ideas. Let me tell you, items like this make me happier than any pair of shoes. I'm a photographer girl, not a girl-girl after all :)

Two days, one quiet morning, and a night shift later I finished my first rope image. I kept it very simple and for this simplicity I love this image.

I also recorded while editing and, as always, you can watch the video right here! I have used stock images of ropes in the past and the resolution was always terrible. So, this time around and with my very own rope I could photograph rope sections individually and piece them together later (as you can see in the video).

I cannot wait for my next trip to my new favorite store and I'm curious to hear if you share my love for hardware stores. Have you purchased items in DIY stores that you couldn't find anywhere else to incorporate into your photography? Which ones and for what images? Let me know in the comments section below!

Sanctuary - An Image for my Book Series

"Sanctuary" developed very quickly. Shoot, composite, save. Some images just flow ;)

What is your sanctuary? What is the place where you feel like you can lose yourself, where you feel safe, and where you lose track of time? I chose a book for my image because stories, foreign countries, their geography, new characters and their biography make my mind travel and time fly. Especially during the most unstable or more difficult periods in my life I clung to books because they provided a constant, allowed me to pass time in foreign lands, and life stories different to mine. While I still refer to books as steady companions, photography more often than not substitutes reading. This is the main reason why I called this portfolio Dreamworlds - on a small scale, the images take you away into far away lands and unknown stories. I hope you like it and I hope you share a little bit about your sanctuaries!

In addition to the image I also have a VIDEO for you! Enjoy!