"Puppet Breaking Loose" and a morning in the forest

Oh boy, this image was too much trial and error! I shot the components twice and I lost count on the edits I tried to do. A few days ago I started from scratch and voilà it finally came together the way i imagined it! My first shoot took place in the big hallway of my house and I used the head, body and dress from this shoot (sounds weird, I know). Because I was shooting by myself, I had no way of attaching the rope to my arms in a believable way. So, I recruited my best assistant (and all around favorite person ) - my mom. :)

I had to take a few headshots as well for upcoming projects so it was kind of a "two flies with one stone" thing. We packed everything up and drove to a place where we had peace and quiet and good backgrounds. We took my portrait shots and then ventured into the forest. Originally, I wanted to put the "puppet" in a forest setting but in post I saw that it just wouldn't work out. The background was simply far too busy and the ropes didn't stand out anymore.

Eventually, I used a stock photo as my background and I'm quite happy with the result. It's not my best work but I learned a lot from it! Plus - the hours in the forest with my mom were extremely awesome! Below you see three behind the scenes shots - the forest as my dressing room, the two of us, and my style mix match before i decided to just run around barefoot. And, no, walking barefoot in a forest doesn't hurt. It really doesn't! It's soft and nice. It did take a while, however, to get the tree sap off my feet...... :)

Thinking about the image and its theme throughout the process of shooting and editing made me aware of how many of these ropes I have been able to cut throughout this year and of how much freedom this gave me. When we really think about it, we have too many ropes in our lives. Most of them were tied by nobody else but ourselves. What are the ropes you want to cut? What are the things in your life that you want to break free from?

One of my favorite places and power spots - the forest!

"Of Hope and Despair"

On a freezing cold November afternoon in 2014, my good friend and I took a very uninviting dirt road halfway up a mountain to an old, old house. The house belonged to the ancestors of one her family members and we were allowed to shoot there. Back then I was brand new to the area of fine art portraiture and for her it was the second shoot with me, but definitely the first one where she was required to put on dresses, float through a room and be barefoot and freezing the whole time (I still feel bad for her...).

We set out to tell a story - that of a girl, living alone in a far-off place, of how she is fighting her fears, her despair, and finding her strength. After the shoot, I started editing that same night, massively big mug of hot tea next to me. The edit didn't work and after several attempts, I had to accept that it just wouldn't click. Either I didn't fully connect with the material or my techniques were still too lousy - probably a combination of both. After having gone back to editing repeatedly for a few months, I accepted that these images were just not going to see the light of day.

Then, rather recently, something changed. Our friendship got deeper, we shared many of our sorrows and joys that are all so much part of everyone's life and we got a better understanding of one another's personalities, hopes, dreams, worries and happiness. I think understanding my friend better, seeing her struggles and her joys and strengths drove me back to these images. Within two days the edit was complete!

Behind the scenes - oh the fun!

Of Hope and Despair - One

Of Hope and Despair - Two

Of Hope and Despair - Three

Fallen - including a video!

I finished my second image of this year yesterday morning! I had great fun shooting it and putting it together. I won't give my personal thoughts about this one, I'd rather leave it up to you to see perhaps a meaning or a philosophy in this image ;)

Additionally, I recorded the editing process and it turned out to be such a long video. That meant that I somehow had to cut an almost 2 1/2 hour video (and I didn't even record everything!) down to under 4 minutes....it was a process! I had to leave out or shorten many steps that went into "Fallen". I mean....who wants to watch me edit for such a long time! Hahahaha... I hope you still enjoy this slightly abridged version!

.....and here is the image:

Space - a few thoughts on my first image of 2016!

Here it is - my first image of the new year! The story behind it is a very simple one, at least in my mind. Firstly, I simply wanted to have an "upside-down" indoors image. There. Done.

Secondly and maybe a bit more complex, is the emotional story behind it. To me the image is somewhat of a summary of the last year. Looking back, I feel like I spent a lot of time in 2015 "hiding". Hiding as in needing time for myself, time to think, time to re-group. But I feel like I was also hiding a bit from opportunities, from taking action in many ways. Creating and withdrawing to my own "space" helped me a lot. Hiding is nothing bad or unhealthy as long as you come out eventually with a fresh mind and clear thoughts. That's what happened to me and I'm grateful for it.

I chose to blindfold myself for the image. I do like to keep my images more anonymous. In this specific one, however, I also used the blindfold as a key element of what I wanted to depict. When life gets very turbulent and you do retreat and find yourself in the middle of many small storms, you ARE blindfolded in a way. You DON'T know what's coming next. You need time and space and it doesn't matter at that moment that you ARE a bit blindfolded. Eventually, you will come out of your hiding spot, you will have learned, you will have new plans, and be able to see clearly again. I also got to incorporate being upside down for the same reasons. In this little hideout, you find yourself upside down more often than not. It's part of it and, in the end, helps you to regain your strength and your balance.

I went into shooting this without a clear concept (as so often the case with me), just a vague idea and a gut feeling. The concept, the idea or thought, the image represents comes as I shoot. I had a lot of fun doing this, above all because I'm back doing my fine art images.

For the set up I had to clear out our little cupboard, or whatever you want to call it, in our living room. Then I climbed in and out for over an hour, leaving me sore today! It was so worth it....also because this cupboard is sorted out and dusted too ;)

The Quiet State of Longing and how the image came to be

As always, I will let you find your own meaning in this image. But I did want to write a few lines that should give you a glimpse behind the scenes of "The Quiet State of Longing"...

I have shot this a while ago and, after three edits, it was tucked away on my computer for a too long time. Why? Because I was uncertain about it and too insecure to show it. But I have to admit, I still love it and here it is! The little secret behind this image is that it came to life during my VERY FIRST shoot of fine art images. My friend and I met up for our first shoot together and this was almost exactly a year ago. We carried loads and loads of props, dresses, fabrics, and equipment through a forest and ended up by a waterfall, our location for the day. We were both nervous, frightened even, happy, and excited all at the same time. We wanted to create but really had no idea how to begin the process. We jumped right in. I had a little story and general ideas based on the story. This image, however, just "happened". It had nothing to do with the story that we used as a guide. Now I know that sketches, ideas, stories are oftentimes only the scaffolding for the image you are creating. They give you something to hold on to until the real idea emerges.

Well, here is the result ;) It was my friend's first time modelling and my first time creating what I now call my "Dreamworlds". I will never forget this damp, foggy, chilly afternoon by the waterfall because it truly was the beginning of an entirely new type of photography for me.

Do you remember your first fine art shoot with a model or alone? How was that? How did it influence your future work? Feel free to share your story, I would love to hear!

(P.S.: After the shoot when the light was gone, we ended up sitting in the forest a few yards away from the roaring waterfall. At first, we thought it was great, badass and an overall almost spiritual experience. Hahahaha....half an hour later, i called my husband to please pick us up. It had started to rain, we were soaking, dirty, and spooked by forest noises and animals stepping on branches. It was fun though....for about 20 minutes ;) )